How The Devil Builds Guitars

*The Gore Zone*

WARNING!    This May Be Disturbing!

If you ever wondered what HELL will be like. THIS IS IT!

          

The shocking pictures below are spy shots of how the Devil builds guitars. Actually the Devil does not know how to build guitars, he only deceives people into thinking that he is a true guitar builder. He is great at deception. He only masquerades as a guitar builder. He uses some evil machines which attempt to mimic the human touch. As we all know, this is impossible to achieve. The devil is not a creator, he is a destroyer. Only God can create. God created people in his image and in turn humans have created some wonderful musical instruments by hand to celebrate God. Since the devil has no talent to achieve such beautiful work he must rely on technology and incessant advertising to deceive guitar players all over the world. This is how the devil builds guitars. This is the work of the devil.

 

These are the machines of the devil at work:




Oh No!!!    I have been exposed!!!
I better pay$$$ more bands to use my guitars and do more full page color ads in guitar magazines.
I must continue to fool these Morons before its too late.

The devil brags about tolerances as close as 2/1000 of an inch.
This is all that he can offer since he can not give his guitars soul. The devil has no soul.
No soul, no feel and no tone.

Pure Horror. What an atrocity.

This is the brave person who provided me with these pictures.
The stories he has told me are gruesome.
He is in great danger and his identity must be protected.

Hand craftsmanship the devil way. The devil is not to blame, only his followers.

I apologize if these disturbing images have made you sick to your stomach.
My biggest fear is that if I go to hell, the devil will make me build guitars this way as well.
This is why I vow to always be a good person, so that I don't end up this way.
People who build guitars like this must have sold their soul to the devil.

Machines like this can turn otherwise untalented individuals into successful "guitar builders".

This is another spyshot taken of a factory in Taiwan. Unfortunately the individual who took the photo has been captured by authorities and has since disappeared. I have contacted Amnesty International but they don't have much hope for saving him.

This factory exports 60% of its production to the US market. The company's OEM business, its primary focus, serves such world-class brands as Alvarez, Aria, Blade, Epiphone, Ibanez, Lag, Tanglewood, Warwick and Washburn. Your own instrument may have been made by this machine.

You can see that this CNC machine is programmed to make several bodies at the same time with NO human contact. You can imagine how sterile these guitars will feel. Another machine will make the necks, about 6 at a time, after which they will be sprayed with thick plastic paint. They will then be shipped by the container load from the third world to your favorite music store and you will see them advertised in your favorite guitar magazine. The devil is very crafty indeed.

As revolting as this picture seems, its the only way however to stock music stores. This is how you get rich and famous as a guitar maker but first you must sink a lode of money into advertising and endorsement contracts. That is what it takes to brainwash the fools. If you are one of these fools, LEAVE THIS SITE IMMEDIATELY. You must be deprogrammed, which is a difficult process. You must be institutionalized and treated by specialists in deprogramming victims of indoctrination. Years of brainwashing must be neutralized or you will end up actually buying these devil-made guitars over and over again.

The Devil himself has responded, only days after the above picture was uploaded. The Devil himself visits my site regularly and it is apparent that he is an SRP owner, which is not surprising. The Devil hates to be exposed or to be judged. He is not happy about this page. Here is what he wrote me:

First off your guitars are SHIT! Secondly, If you actually read the bible it says "Judge not lest ye be judged". Fanaticism is a sin and you are fanatical hipocrit that uses religion to justify your miserable existance. God has a special burning line just for your type of people. Quote from your page God created people in his image. Even God is entitled to make a really stupid mistake. You're the one that must be deprogrammed and that will definately be a difficult process. You must be institutionalized and treated. Years of brainwashing must be neutralized or you will end up exactly like the rest of the hipocritical morons. BURNING IN HELL!
Have a nice day...... Lucem Ferre (thats greek for LUCIFER)




Hey Alex I have a little story that might interest you. A few years ago I was working at a music store with a guy named Rob who was a very talented guitarist, builder and repairman. Rob loved Fender guitars and his life dream was to move across the country to go to luthier school and eventually work for Fender. Today, Rob is building Fenders and he's miserable. He says they treat their employees like slave labor, and instead of building guitars, he's pushing buttons on machines that do the work for him. Confirmation that big guitar companies are the devil. I never liked Fenders anyway.    Sam

 

The Devil Made My Guitar
What kind of bible-thumping freak are you? Don't get me wrong; I believe that all human beings are entitled to their opinions, but your "How The Devil Builds Guitars" page is a mockery to all luthiers around the world. There are a fair number that build by hand and do a good job of it. There are also a lot of companies that build excellent guitars - using machines, instead of doing every part by hand. Why do they do this? To cut costs. If the Les Paul was still built by hand, it would cost thousands more than it does and a lot of people would not be able to enjoy what is considered one of the best guitars every made.

Perhaps Leo Fender appreciates being called "The Devil" since his company now uses machines, but I rather doubt it. The biggest problem with religion around the world is when people like you make it into the be-all-end-all. Guess what. There are other beliefs than just yours; there are other ideals than just yours. In my time on this planet I have learned that when a person puts down others to make him/herself look better, that person is lacking something or is trying to hide something. Sorry, buddy, but it sounds like you have a serious insecurity issue. Are your guitars actually as good as you say? Hmmmm...

I suppose what actually prompted me to write this is that you say "Oh no! I've been found out! I better run more full-page ads in Guitar Magazine..." But you are actually planning on putting a full-page ad in Guitar Magazine! You are as big a hypocrit as I have ever seen. I hope when/if you finally get to the pearly gates, good ol' Pete says "Yeah, you were a bible-thumpin dude all your life. But you were also extremely close-minded and hypocritical to and about other people. You might have devoted yourself to god, but you stepped on a few too many people to get here. That makes you just a little too evil to come in. Enjoy your time in hell. Good-bye." Perhaps opening your mind to other possibilities - like how machines aren't the devil (you sound like Kathy Bates' character in "The Water Boy") - would be a better way to live your life than trying to make yourself look better by putting others down. Gordon

 

My reply to the message above:
This page is not a mockery of luthiers because luthiers do not use programmable machines to make guitars. Luthiers by definition make instruments by hand. People that use programmable machines are not luthiers.

As overpriced as the Les Paul is today a luthier can make one by hand and sell it for about the same price. What he can not do is produce the numbers to satisfy music stores around the world. His profit margin will also be much less than that of Gibson.

A Les Paul is one of the most popular guitars ever made but definitely not the best. Its popular mainly because it is one of the first production electrics. Fender being the first. The Les Paul is actually a poorly designed instrument in many ways although I agree it has that nice classic look. I had a 1982 model with a maple neck and it was quite different from the originals of the fifties. Definitely nothing to brag about.

Leo Fender's company was sold in 1965 and all his instruments were hand made at the time. Every operation was hand controlled and not computer controlled. The current Fender company has nothing to do with Leo Fender except his name. G&L guitars still do not use CNC machines, in large part to Leo's wishes. So NO, Leo is not the Devil, he is an angel in heaven.

I may be insecure but its the secret to any success I have ever achieved. By being insecure it makes me competitive and drives me to be better than the other guy. My insecurity drives me relentlessly and without it I would not be building guitars, I would probably be a blowboy at a music store pushing PRS guitars. There are advantages to every condition you know. Yes I have issues but I want to keep them.

Yes, I am planning to put a full page color ad in all guitar magazines but the one with Ronald McDonald that I have pictured is too mild. I am currently looking for something much more raunchy. Might as well make it hardcore. What do you think, would people like it?
I think that you are quite a humorless person and a bit slow mentally.

I am sure the big guitar companies are appreciative of your support and your defense of their methods. You can anticipate the arrival or your new computer-made Les Paul any day as a sign of their appreciation.

 

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